Friday, February 02, 2007

Ups & Downs

Today Michael and I went to the gym around 5pm. I dropped him off at the nursery and then pretended to work out (well, i did 15 min on the elliptical). When I got back, Michael was playing with another kid. REALLY playing. They were running around with big cars in their hands and Michael was repeating what the other kid was saying. They were laughing and smiling. It felt so good- because sometimes he just stims off the toys (like the my pretty pony hair).

Then on the way to Trader Joe's, Michael is in the back of the car singing "Waiting on the World to Change" by John Mayer (we both love him). I'm so happy and feeling so lucky and then BAMB....

we get to Trader Joe's and Michael is running around like an animal. I can't see him. He thinks it's a game. So, i'm thinking- it's small store and he always come back to me. I just need 10 min. I'll let him run around a bit.

Well, one of the employees comes up to me "do you have a son?". I just wanted to die. He continues "he's standing by the door, almost going out".

Michael would not stay with me. I had to finally hold him down by the cash register so he wouldn't run out the door. I also had to pretend I wasn't mad. Which is NOT easy- trust me. He was rolling on the dirty floor, screaming.... all the fun stuff.

Then he wouldn't LEAVE the store. Again, I was like "Michael, we are leaving and have to go home and take a bath." Then it was "fine- we'll wait until you are ready to leave" (as I stand in the cold). Then it was "GET OUT HERE NOW!" and I grabbed him. It's 30* out and I gave him a solid minute to decide what to do. I think he would have sat in that window for 5 days watching people come in and out.

So, basically, today was a roller coaster. Not one those fun-gotta do it again- rides. But those sick to your stomach, I want to go home rides.

I guess sometimes he is just doing so well that I forget that he has autism. And that he has limits. I REALLY need to always have reinforcers with me or set up a reward. Which I don't like to do- because at this point- he should do it because I ask or say so- not because he gets french fries.

I don't know how parents do it. The ones who have kids like this all the time. Michael acts up about 30 min a week- I can take that.

While getting in the car I was thinking about how I just want Michael to get better. I want him to be able to deal with life. I want him to be able to help me shop and someday shop for himself. I think it's going to take a while.....

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The Long Winter

Here is a picture of Michael with his cousin, who is the same age. They don't see each other much, but recently they have been playing together when they play together.

Man, February is a long month, even though it's the shortest month. If you don't know Long Island well, it's pretty cold and grey during February. We don't get a lot of snow, which really is god's way of saying "sorry" for winter. I lived in upstate NY for 5 winters and that is when I learned the purpose of snow. It covers the ugly, muddy ground. It's hard to drive in, but it's sooo beautiful. Like I've mentioned before, Michael understands winter and snow this year. He keeps saying that he wants it to snow, because he wants to make snow angels. We did get some flurries this past week- but nothing than stayed around for more than 12 hours.

Michael is getting obsessed with the weather. Everynight he wants to check on my laptop. He also likes to look at the radar- "blue means snow, green means rain". The only thing I'm worried about is that he's becoming alittle TOO obsessed. The past couple of weeks, he's also had some tantrums at school. Most of the time he freaks out because the schedule is different or because he misses out on something.

Sometimes I think it's good. I know- that sounds crazy. But, most people who do chelation with their kids say that they have bad side affects. You know the chelation is working because they get rashes or don't sleep or something else negative. This is the first time since August that we have seen something negative on a regular basis. Do I know it's a product of chelation? Not really. It could be the cold he had for about 3-4 weeks. It's almost gone. Michael doesn't get sick very often. I don't like to medicate him either. So, it really could be anything. I guess time will tell.

Michael has enjoyed going to the gym with me in the evenings. He plays with the big room of toys and sometimes even one of the kids. It's great because he's starting to see the same kids over and over. They are getting used to him. Plus, the girl who works there is very understand and good with him.

We are going to do a challenge on Friday- that means we are going to collect his urine after the IV's and check for metals. Last week it took 3 tries to get the IV in. Wasn't really Michael's fault. It helps to bring my laptop and let him play games.

Here are some other pictures I had. Thanks for reading my blog and sending me emails.